dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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