I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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