Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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