they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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