Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
