My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You're a waste of cheezeits
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
