someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
