he shaved USA in his pubs
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
