she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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