i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I would fuck him just for his dog
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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