went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
