I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
