how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Welp...herpes.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
