I think I am morally bankrupt
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
