all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
