Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
