weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
