Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
