Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
There's always time for handjobs
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
