you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
