sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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