I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
