he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
