the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize