I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
