Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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