i barfeds in our rink
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
