if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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