yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize