I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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