Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
im on a boat
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