you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
