Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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