I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
