You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
