Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
