A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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