Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I stole a fireplace last night.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
