Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
