If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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