Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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