u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
