did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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