Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
