remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
