Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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