i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
