just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
