i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
