If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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