hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
