Who wears a wallet chain?!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
