There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
