Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
