I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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