11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
