You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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