everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
