Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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