remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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