so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
