I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize